Friday, May 05, 2006

It's Good To Be A Kennedy

In one of the faster paced news stories of the past few weeks one of the lesser Kennedy clan, Patrick, son of Teddy, managed to stay on CNN and Fox News all day today.

His featured spot started out this morning with the news that he drove his car into a barricade near the Capitol building at 3am last night. Local cops claimed he might have been drunk, but they either did not or were told not to deliver a DUI test. Patrick was then driven home by the police.

The the great Kennedy PR team went into high gear to stage manage the event.

The drinking part was denied, which is important because like many a Kennedy alcohol has caused Patrick problems in the past.

The story soon gained a new angle. It seemed Kennedy was on prescription drugs for a intenstinal disorder and they caused him to become confused and drive his car into the barricade. Supposedly he was so befuddled by the drugs that he thought he was needed at the Capitol for an important vote. Of course Congress had already let out for the day three or so hours earlier. Who knew Pepto Bismal was so disorienting.

Kennedy kept claiming that alcohol was not involved, despite the claims made by the staff at a local bar/restaurant called the Dove and Hawk that he had a few drinks their that evening.

Time for stage three of the PR team's machinations. Get Patrick out of DC.

So just 12 hours after the accident took place there are screaming headlines on Fox and CNN that Kennedy has been sent to rehab to deal with a prescription pain killer addiction. I guess those "don't operate heavy machinery" statements on Percocets should also mention small cars.

At least he didn't kill anyone, but if anyone else had been pulled over for driving into a barricade outside the nation's capitol at 3am they would have been shuffled right off to jail.

So once again it has been proven that it's good to be a Kennedy.


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