Tuesday, May 24, 2005

What Will Replace Star Wars?

What will the millions of Star War fans do with themselves now that the prequels have ended?

We are talking about millions of geeks with no outlet for their nerdiness. This is a potential national disaster. Should the National Guard be warned? Will endlessly surfing the web for tidbits and insights about the six movies be enough to maintain order?

I fear not.

Compounding this problem are the hordes of disaffected Star Trek geeks who suffered through the cancellation of Star Trek Enterprise. Luckily for society there is every indication that another series will eventually come down the pike. As long as there is hope, plus Trek conventions, these people will remain passive.

It's the Star Wars crowd that I worry about. They cannot join the Trekkie ranks as the chasm dividing the two camps is every bit as wide as that between the Boston Red Sox and NY Yankees. Being generally uncoordinated these wannabe Jedi's can't handle real outdoor sports nor do they have the right stuff to handle the one thing that keeps all other males on the planet happy. Women.

Perhaps some can jump onto the Harry Potter bandwagon. This serial has everything they need. Upcoming books, movies and if everyone tries real hard they can imagine that the magic wands are really light sabers.

As for those who cannot make the change, I fear a life of unwilling George Lucas to beg him to finish the final three episodes of the Star Wars saga, those originally intended to follow Return of the Jedi. The rest will go back to their cubicles and quietly bang out computer code, write fan fiction and get together in costume at film revivals showing the Star Wars movies.


At 1:12 PM, Blogger Greg said...

There's the rub! Where will we go? I don't think Harry Potter is the answer. The only answer is this: make Episode 7-9 and REMAKE the prequels along the lines of something rational and decent.

I'm available for these tasks if a suitable investor is willing to buy-out Lucas.

At 2:30 AM, Blogger Mystique said...

Haha. I seriously don't get this whole 'Star Wars' mania.


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