Thursday, December 29, 2005

Rear View Mirror's 2006 Predictions

Today I will flip around Rear View Mirror and instead of looking at what has happened I will take a gander down the road into 2006. Some of these are actual predictions and others wishful thinking on my part. Let me know if you can tell which is which.

  • After spending millions getting Carlos Delgado and Billy Wagner the NY Mets break my heart by ending the seaon 15 games under .500. Only then will Delgado and Wagner realize they destroyed their careers by coming to NY and beg to be traded to Kansas City.
  • Bin Laden and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi remain on the run making periodic public appearance, but still manage to stay just a step ahead of U.S. forces.
  • The NY Jets quit the NFL when every one of its players gets injured in Week 3. Ownership declares this is simply less painful for the fans then putting them through another 2005-like season.
  • More unrest in France as its Muslim population decides job training with being accepted as equals in their own country is not enough. Renault stock goes through the roof as 25,000 cars are burned in three days.
  • Iran announces it will explode a nuclear weapon. The next day a joint U.S.-Israeli strike force hits several Iranian nuclear facilities. President Bush announces that if American inspectors are not given total access to the Iranian program we will destroy that countries ability to drill for, pump out and export oil regardless of the impact it has on world oil prices.
  • President Bush announces a national energy policy that actually makes sense.
  • Islamic terrorists are captured with bomb making equipment sneaking over the Mexican-U.S. border, possibly by Arizona citizens patrolling the border.
  • There is a major discovery of some type by one of the Mars rovers.
  • Most of my predictions will be proved wrong.
  • Things in Iraq will get worse. All the talk about a U.S. troop draw down will inspire the terrorists to step up their activities, thus putting pressure on Bush to bring the troops home.
  • Bush refuses and instead fully calls up all National Guard and Reserve forces and floods Iraq with troops.
  • Chinese and Taiwanese naval units exchange gunfire.
  • North Korea fires another missile over Japan.
  • Hollywood continues to fall farther away from the mainstream and posts its worst ever year at the box office.
  • In a desparate attempt to drum up business, Hollywood announces it will allow movies to be directly downloaded to home's immediately following their theatrical release.
  • Howard Stern fails on satellite radio.
  • David Lee Roth, Stern's replacement, fails on traditional radio.
  • My daughter manages to sleep through the night for three consecutive days.

I could go on and on, but that's enough for this year.


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