What I Would Do For $10 Million

Basically anything, but kill somebody.

Oddly, Alfonso Soriano who plays for the Washington Nationals refused to take the field during a Spring Training game yesterday claiming that he was a second baseman and that is where he belonged. According to ESPN, Soriano is due $10 million this year.

$10 million....$10 million.....$10 million

I just can't get the thought out of my head that this idiot would pass up that kind of money just because he is too stubborn to play where the team needs him. The Nationals already have an All Star second baseman, granted Soriano has also attained that honor, but Soriano also has the athletic ability to play the outfield. He just doesn't wanna.

Is Soriano somehow channeling Terrell Owens?

This type of behavior from professional athletes makes me wonder if involving my son in little league, taking him to Mets' games and watching sports together on TV is a mistake. There are so few athletes with any redeeming qualities in this day and age that I would rather my son emulate Jimmy Neutron, the Nickelodeon cartoon character, then a professional athlete.

If it's not steroids, (Sosa, Bonds, McGuire) its marijuana (Ricki Williams) or money (Owens, Soriano and just about all the rest.) The real kicker is it is not the marginal players that are making a mockery out of their sport, but the best and most famous players. And for the most part their actions are self-serving. Williams quits football so he can smoke pot. Come on. Soriano ego is so fragile he is willing to blow $10 million instead of playing somewhere new. Jesus H. Christ.

If my boss gave me a new assignment, even one I disliked, I would say OK and do the best I could. Granted, Soriano has already made enough money to live like a potentate in his native Dominican Republic, but I would think he could always use some more pocket change.

So with all that said I'm sending my resume to the Washington Nationals. I might be 42, and only a mediocre softball players, but I will take on any position they see fit and for half of Soriano's salary.

Frank Robinson, I hope you are listening.