Cub Scouts

I was a Cub Scout for a couple of months when I was in second or third grade, but until my son joined this year I had very little idea what they did and what scouting expects out of parents.

For example, I have to build a Pinewood Derby race car out of a 7-inch solid block of wood by next Tuesday for my son's Cub Scout Pinewood Derby race. They gave us a kit about 6 weeks ago and the fathers are supposed to whip one of these suckers out. Nobody told them about commuting, work or having zero carpentry skills.

The directions include useful tips on how to use a drill press and band saw. I own a hammer, two screw drivers and a wrench set. I considered smashing the wood with the hammer and stabbing myself with the pointy screw driver in an attempt to escape this. Instead a fun trip to Home Depot is in order.

In the end I'm sure my son's car will be the first car to ever burst into flames and injure six viewers as it speeds down the track.