Friday, October 07, 2005

NYC Terror Threat

There is nothing like going to work wondering if you will end up being an unwilling participant in a terrorist attack, but that was my situation this morning as I cruised into New York on the Long Island Railroad.

With Mayor Bloomberg and the FBI citing semi-credible sources that pointed to an immanent attack on the city subways, commuters all across the metro area were able to wonder if their normally dull trips would be kicked up a notch by some lunatic looking to hook up with 72 virgins in allah's heaven.

Penn Station, my main entry point into the city, was shut down for awhile this morning when a suspicious package was found. It turned out to be a bag with a can of soda inside, not evil soda, just the regular kind. Hopefully, that will be it for today.

However, if sex is what these guys want, there are better ways to get it in NY. Maybe the police and FBI should round up a few dozen hookers and present them as a peace offering to the sex-starved terrorists? We have entire avenues populated with women, and men dressed as women, who would be more then happy to comply with the terrorists wishes for a small sum of money. In the strictest interpretation of virgin these women might not be "virgins" but spending meaningful hour with a somewhat experienced, non-virgin has to be better then exploding all over the A train.

This brings me to what I consider to be the primariy reason behind the terrorists behavior. Muslims are among the most up tight people on the face of the Earth. Even evangelical Christians have more fun then your average Taliban or bin Laden follower. What Iraq really needs is a good happy hour bar. Some place to loosen up, have a beer and goggle the burkha wearing women over in the corner. Mentally undressing them until you can almost imagine what their ankles look like.

This is healthy behavior and once the guys start chasing the women they will have no time for anything else.


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