Thursday, September 28, 2006

Iran's Get Rich Quick Scheme and Terrell Owens

Earlier today Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said there was no way his country would stop its nuclear activity and oil prices immediately jumped almost $2 per barrell.

On a much less serious level, is the saga told in Dallas over the past day with Terrell Owens attempting to commit suicide, maybe.

First Iran.

Ahmadinejad has no intention to ever stop trying to develop the bomb. The UN and EU can talk with Iran till the cows come home. It won't matter. This research delivers more value per pound for Iran then all the oil buried beneath that third world hell hole. The mere mention of continuing the research alters the worlds oil price, thus pouring more money into Iran's coffers which can be used to buy off the huge number of poor, unemployed Iranians that fill the hell hole. This is extremely important to Ahmadinejad because if these people get pissed enough they could decide to rise up and hang him from the nearest light pole.

For all we know Ahmadinejad could be pulling a Saddam on us andlying about having a nuclear program. He knows that the U.S. cannot attack him unless the evidence is so overwhelming that even Kofi Anan would give his OK, so why not create a hypothetical nuclear program. The benefits are obvious. Nukes in the Gulf scare the bejesus out of the locals, and that is always a good thing when your main goal in life is to become a regional super power.

Finally, the occasional threat keeps Ahmadinejad face in the news. I think he enjoys being the world's bad boy. He has mastered the coat and tie-less shirt look that makes him look semi-respectable, but still one of the masses. After all what self-respecting revolutionary would ever wear a tie. Fidel doesn't, Mao didn't. His appearance so perfectly states, "Hey, I have to wear a jacket and nice shirt so the other world leaders will take me seriously, but like you all I hate wearing ties."

Ahmadinejad must have a great publicist.

Speaking of publicity let's move on to TO.

I think we can chalk up his latest shennigans as another silly stunt. After all, TO is a Grade A narcissist. Anyone who loves himself that much is unlikely to kill themself.

I think TO decided it was time to put his face back on the front page of the Dallas M0rnining News and what better way to garner some quick sympathy then by trying to appear so depressed that suicide became an option. Of course, he instantly denied his suicidal tendencies, but he gave enough clues to the EMTs to make it sound legit. His next day denial simply made the story more interesting guaranteeing more media coverage.

The fact that his publicist was in his house when all this took place, to me, points to it being a PR move. After all who hangs with their publicicist? Maybe people do. I don't have one so I really can't say if they are fun to be with. If the person making the 911 call was a teammate or neighbor then it would have been more believable, but then again those people would know better then to stage something like this.

But hey, I'm just guessing.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

NIE Declassifes Nothing

I can't believe this National Intelligence Estimate ever needed to be classified.

The assessments made could have been developed from information culled from the web by a 16 year old. Seriously, we could not let the world know that future terrorists are likely to use suicide bombs, that killing or capturing bin Laden, Zarqawi and Zawahiri would lead to a fracturing of al Queda.

This document is useless as a gauge of where we stand in our fight against the terrorists. I can only hope the part the remained classified is filled with juicier tidbits of information.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Danny Glover vs. The Predator vs Hugo Chavez

Where is the Predator when you really need it?

For some reason Danny Glover today helped introduce Venezuelan strongman/dictator/crazydude Hugo Chavez at a church in Harlem, NY. Glover starred in the sequal Predator II, not as good as the first movie with Arnold, but OK.

Glover's action is forcing me to do two things. First, I can no longer watch any more of his movies. Once you prove disloyal to the country that made you wealthier then you deserve to be, well that's it. This is a major bummer because I really like the Lethal Weapon series. But on the bright side this will help me avoid Mel Gibson who seems to have gone off the deep end.

Actually, there is no second thing. I was going to go into a long thought on how we must now consider Chavez even more dangerous, but on second thought, his comments in the church today were so transparent and foolish that I will just ignore him.

Here is an afterthefact full disclosure issue that needs to be covered, well not really, but it's funny.

Back in the early 1990s I managed a Hertz Car Rental branch in Manhattan. This was by far the worst job I've ever had. Customers were rude, people tried to steal stuff out of the garages, used fake credit cards and drivers licensces. So as manager I had to be aware of what was going on.

One day this very dishevelved, old looking, poorly dressed black man walked into the garage area. Homeless people were always walking in to swipe something or bug people for money. So I went out there to chase the guy away. I asked him if I could help him and he said no. Even though it did not look as if this guy had 35 cents in his pocket and to not assume to much, I asked if he was a customer looking to rent a car. He in a very slurred voice said no, he just wanted to wait around.

I said he couldn't just stand in the garage because it was not safe and would have to leave. At this point his voice cleared up a bit and so I looked more closely. Under the scraggly beard and clothes it was Danny Glover. I double checked with one of the other workers and they agreed it was him. He ended up weaving his way out of the garage and never returning.

My guess was he was a bit "under the weather" as my mother would put it and managed to wander it not quite knowing where he was.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Bush To Debate Ahmadinejad

I think it was a mistake for President Bush to decline the opportunity to debate Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

From my perspective nothing, but good could have come of such an event. There are several paths the president could have taken: Here are a few....

First, when Bush debated Al Gore prior to his first term he managed to out talk a pretty smart, well spoken man. Personally, I did not think Bush won any of those debates, but the rest of America disagreed. So if W could do that to Gore he would turn Ahmadinejad into a mumbling idiot.

Second, I bet it wouldn't take much for Bush to incite Ahmadinejad into an apoplectic rage. A few well chosen words, perhaps submitted by the Pope, would have him raving like Kruschev's nutty brother bashing the podium with his copy of the Koran. The worlds needs to see that Ahmadinejad is truly a nutcase. Of course, anyone who has read his quotes already knows this, but for the illiterate among us video is needed.

Third and finally the President can get up and say the following.

"I came here under false pretenses. I do not intend to debate you. I intend to tell you and everyone watching exactly what is going to happen if Iran does not learn to behave. If Iran does not declare itself nuclear free and abide by the numerous UN resolutions demanding access to its nuclear development sites we will take action. I do not care if the entire world disagrees with what we intend to do. The world always disagrees. Iran cannot call for the destruction of a UN member nation and not be punished. It cannot send money and arms to terrorist groups that kill our soldiers and attack civilians around the world. Its leaders cannot state that the world must submit to Islam or face the consequences. The United States is vilified on a daily basis for actual and perceived transgressions that pale in comparison to what Iran's leaders put out. If we are held to such a high standard then so should Iran.

Any nation who wishes to join us can meet with me out in the lobby. Good Day.

Originally, my fourth option was for George to pull out a .45 and shoot Ahmadinejad right there on the floor of the UN, and then hand Kofi Anan America's resignation from the UN and an order shutting down the building. But then I thought better of including it.

Arrest the Pope: Turkey

Just when you thought the foolishness surrounding the Pope's comment couldn't reach a new level the Turks decided to put out an All Points Bulleting for Pope Benedict.

According to CNN, Employees of Ankara's Directorate General for Religious Affairs, or Diyanet, presented a petition to the Justice Ministry asking it to launch a probe into the Pope's remarks and to detain him when he arrives, the Anatolian news agency said. They said the pontiff had violated Turkish laws upholding freedom of belief and thought by "insulting" Islam and the Prophet Mohammed.

If the Vatican has a irony meter it must have gone off the chart when that last sentence was read to the Pope.

Didn't the Turks bother to proof read their statement before sending it out? Most editors would have noticed the hypocrisy of arresting someone for violating the country's religious freedom laws by speaking his mind on a religious topic.

I guess what it boils down to is you can say whatever you like about Islam as long as every Muslim agrees with your thought. If you go one inch out of line its off to jail.

If this Turkish organization represents the deep thinkers of Islam, then the world is in for decades of military conflict. Afterall, Turkey is the lone secular democracy in the Arab world and if its leaders are so far gone then we can't expect much out of Iran, Pakistan and the rest of the mad Mullahs.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Pope's Comment Drives Muslims Over The Edge

Is there a group of individuals in the world with thinner skins then Muslims?

I think one would be hard pressed to find another bunch of people who fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. For example, the Pope the other day quoted a sentence from a book that quoted a conversation that took place between a Chrisitan and Muslim leader in the 14th Century.

Benedict quoted from a book recounting a conversation between 14th century Byzantine Christian Emperor Manuel Paleologos II and a Persian scholar on the truths of Christianity and Islam.

"The emperor comes to speak about the issue of jihad, holy war," the pope said. "He said, I quote, 'Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."'

("If you do not believe we are tolerant we will kill you!")

First, the quote is pretty hard to decipher, but the gist tends to be that it's wrong to spread your religion by the sword. Despite that, most religions have tended to do so over the previous millenia. Most have stopped.

The odd thing is the mere mention of anything possibly, slightly anti-Muslim causes a furor. Remember the cartoons depicting Allah? How many died in the riots that followed. Salmon Rushdie lives with a death sentence over his head for a book he wrote 20 years ago.

Now entire parliaments are unanimously passing resolutions condemning the Pope and calling for direct apologies. And these people have the nerve to call the Pope intolerant.

(From a FoxNews story) But anger still swept across the Muslim world, with Pakistan's parliament unanimously adopting a resolution condemning the pope for making what it called "derogatory" comments about Islam, and seeking an apology from him.
"Anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence," Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Tasnim Aslam said.

Does that last sentence sound like the pot calling the kettle black?

As a whole the Muslim's inferiority complex can't handle any negativity. A good parent would not accept this type of temper tantrum from a child, so why does an entire society behave in this manner?

This is the question that has to be answered

Monday, September 11, 2006

Remembering Sept. 11

It's a little chillier today and the sky is close, but not quite, the same bright blue as it was five years ago, but while the day may look the same the city in many ways is a far different place.

There was quite a lot of official hoopla down at Ground Zero this morning, including a visit from President Bush, but it is the little remembrances that people did on their own that show how the attacks still affect this city. For example, as I crossed 6th Avenue at 29th St. today, which once held a great view of the WTC, I noticed people stopping as they crossed to look downtown at the empty skyline.

The city, in its own way, is also quiet today. Any visitor to NY realizes the shear volume of noise that surrounds you on the streets. During any normal day cars, horns, people yelling, fire and police sirens just fill the air. Not so general chatter today.

However, there were many sirens this morning. Between 9am and about 10:30am all I heard in my office were sirens. Hearing sirens is now a frightening sound in NY. Five years ago that is all one heard all day. I have no idea what was going on, but it was unnerving.

Adding to some people's jitters was a track fire at Penn Station this morning. This is nothing that far out of the ordinary for the station, but when one hops off their train into a room smelling of smoke with dozens of police and soldiers standing your mind starts wondering what exactly is going on.

Even my office is quiet. They usual loud telephone conversations are absent. Either people are refraining from their normal behavior or they decided to stay home.

It's been five years, but it could have been yesterday. Bin Laden is off laughing in his cave somewhere in Pakistan remember his crowning achievement. I'm not as optimistic as I once was that he would get his well-deserved bullet in the head death, but everyone eventually makes a mistake so there is still some hope that he will get what he deserves.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Dilbert Shoots Iran's President

I've always loved this cartoon. As a corporate slave I have always recognised that Dilbert's creator Scott Adams knows what it's like to spend countless hours in a beige cube.

Now I can love Scott's work on an entirely different level. Read Adam's blog. He is a very conservative thinker and probably more hawkish then the average Rush Limbaugh listener.

I would pay some serious money to hear Adams and fellow cartoonist/liberal asshole Ted Rall go at it. Considering Adams general overall talent he would crush Rall and then make fun of him in the funny pages for months to follow.

It seems in his post today, Adams was trying to clarify his position on world events to his readers. Because his writing style is pretty off the wall it is not always blazingly clear that Adams is conservative, so people have been giving him hell because the misunderstand what he is saying. Well, that won't be necessary after today.

Here is a clip.

Now, since I know from the comments that many of my readers are – inexplicably – also troglodytes, allow me to include a disclaimer here. I’m way more hawkish than you are. It just doesn’t look that way because my thinking is that if a bully punches you, you should run away. Later, when he’s asleep, put a bullet in his head and leave the gun in his little brother’s crib so it looks like a sibling squabble. In other words (again, for the troglodytes) being tough doesn’t require being stupid. It’s totally optional.

It's time to put this guy on the presidential ballot.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Lebanon Threatens Israel with "All Its Might"

Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Lebanese officials threatened today to smash Israel's blockade by force unless Israel decides to lift the blockade.

Talk about overplaying your hand. The Lebanese government could not even remove Syria or Hezbollah from its territory, much less deal a crushing blow to the IDF. Which of course just trashed half the country in a ground and air campaign.

Luckily for Lebanon Israel decided to pull the blockade starting Thursday thus eliminating the need to humilate poor Lebanon any further. I'm sure it was all pre-arranged to give some respect back to Lebanon, but it's still pretty funny.